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Which Hill Will I Die On?

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Which Hill Will I Die On?

By John Lisovsky

Dedicated to the SFMTA Board

San Francisco
You have so many hills

Foggy hills and less foggy hills
Hills for hiking and hills for driving
Hills for parking
And other hills for parking

The views are incredible

When I’m out riding my bike
(Fuji Absolute LE)
Zipping through the city
Where do you think I’ll be doored?

Pacific Heights
Has many motorists

Perhaps if I bike up Scott Street
And a motorist is honking at me
“Get out of my way!”
I’ll drift toward parked cars
And get doored.

Aaron Peskin loves parking
It’s all over D3
Bike lanes mean less parking
Bike lanes make Aaron sad

Perhaps if I take Polk Street
And make it through the TL
I’ll fall awry of an Uber
On top of Nob Hill
And get doored.

Matt Haney is angry
“Too many fucking cars!”
But Rincon Hill bike lanes are still in the
Kill Zone
So a truck might crush me there.

Ronen says she’s a progressive
But cars cause climate change
London Breed had to whip SFMTA
To pilot the Valencia lanes

I hiked Bernal Hill once
I had my bike with me
There was more street parking than road space
Shockingly, not doored.

Alamo Square has bike lanes
On Fulton Street
The day Tess Rothstein died
I was in one
But a door was flung open from the parking lane
And but for swerving —

Golden Gate Park has some gentle hills
I like to go on Sunday
Otherwise it’s Golden Gate PARKING
Its natural beauty reduced

Which hill will I die on?
The cars are so fast,
So frequent
So large

When I bike in San Francisco
I feel like I’ve lit an incendiary

(Not a Lyft bike)

Can I hold it just so
Just far enough
With such care
That it won’t engulf me in flame?

Can you tell me
You do all you can
So I won’t die on my commute?

Which hill do you think I’ll die on?
Telegraph Hill, Castro Heights, Twin Peaks?

Do any of these hills have bike lanes?

Are they protected?

Even one?

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